Saturday, November 10, 2007
Halt in your trax, hip hazards! The HIP GIRL CLUB's gonna cut you the f*** down! That's right, we WENT THERE, and we brought you back a souvenir! Too bad you didn't get it until now...
Well, that's okay, because the HIP GIRL CLUB is back in business with exploding new content, straight from VERDE's PWNed undergarnments! Suffocating in her own neck for 500+ days, the little lady had a grand congnition!
With quick wit, you know, for an ...(R-tard), the Co-Founder got right to it! Better 500 days later than never, we say!
VERDE: I was working on it the entire time.Right, Verde.
In other news, it appears that the HIP GIRL CLUB has missed out on a LOT of news- probably too much for us to cover in one update, so we'll just start with what we can remember! It appears Co-Founder ROXY has terminably changed her name to BENNU-HATHOR to surreptitiously advocate her alliegiance as the spawn of Satan! We interviewed both Co-Founders to see how they each felt about the subject:
HGC: Ro.. I mean... BENNU-HATHOR, what compelled you to change your name in the first place?
BENNU: Well, uhhh, the demons down in hell didn't think that Roxy suited my beautiful self so, I decided to change my name to something sexy, exotic and memorable. I couldn't think of a damn thing so now I'm Bennu Hathor. *chuckles like a constapated ostrich*
HGC: What does Bennu-Hathor mean, anyway... Bennu-Hathor?
VERDE: It means BENNU HAFFOR am the beest of friends with Verde! Am! Am!
HGC: Fascinating! Why don't you two BEST FRIENDS give each other a big hip joining HUG?!
(Audience): Awww!
VERDE: M. Ya herr. Ah. Hug meh, devil-friend!
BENNU: *grunts* Ewww! Do you ever think that I would want to ever hug you? I would rather splice my jugular with a rusty garden sheer! Puuhlease....
(Audience): Or wiggle if you'd rather!
HGC: Well, what'll it be, Bennu-friend? Time is running out! 10 and counting! 9...
VERDE: Hmm? Hmmm? Hmmmm?!
BENNU: Well, uuuuuhhhh.... Ha... *Rips out jugular starts to wiggle and throws it in Verde's face and lies there dead, quitely dead*
Special Guest!: 0_0 Oh my.... Is she okay?
VERDE: Whacha gon do wen dey COME $4 UuuuuuuuU?! (Dollar sign, girlyfriend..)
Wow! Even a special appearance from HIP BOY Sebeknakht Ra! He seems to be getting better, can't you tell? Those Hippapaloos are too much for the New York zoo sometimes! Please, refrain from throwing perishables or stepping on rotten bananas until the end, thanks.
Lastly, Co Founder VERDE has decided to omit Rule #5 in the HIP GIRL RULES. From this point on, any girl who is NOT a mean, "Snobby bitch" is now eligible to join as a HIP GIRL Member! All nice girls; take advantage of this opportunity now! To put this rule in motion, two of VERDE's close cousins: ASHLEY LeDRANE and BEIGE HARVEY will soon be full-fledged members of the HIP GIRL Club! But what's this?! Consequently, in accordance to Rule #6, ASHLEY's obsession appears to conflict with long time MEMBER ELIZABETH's obsession: JACOB DeBOLT. Instead of remedying this situation fairly, Our Co-Founder decided to cast out ELIZABETH all together! Talk about family relation bias!
VERDE: She was just too stimply!Yeah, we have to agree that she was kind of an ass pellet, anyway.
WOW! That was more excitement in a HIP GIRL update than Senior Night at Hawthorne Village! Ooh, we should really arrange one of those for a HIP GIRL EVENT!
(VERDE): Can you say BINGO?!HO HO! Tune in next week for another update, H-ass holes! Just don't get your hopes up!! Check for the new updates!